DISH-CUSSION TIME: NIP/TUCK

good day CAMPers,

i want today's lesson to be a dish-cussion about why certain shows are on THE SYLLABUS. actually i'll be doing all the dish-cussing and you'll get a chance to comment when i'm done. i just wanted to get that out of the way before everyone started to throw in with their two-cents and create verbal drama. as much as we love drama here at GAY CAMP, we'll save it for our next theatrical production, GAY CAMP the musical! now, on to my dish-cussion...

i will begin with NIP/TUCK because it has been around for four seasons already and the main characters are well-developed. i honestly didn't get sucked into the phenomena of NIP/TUCK until the second season. but, trust me, i did my research to make sure i was completely immersed in its madness by the time season two had started. so why NIP/TUCK? well, let's look at the characters first.

dr. christian troy, alter-ego julian marsh

the upside:
he's the kind of doctor that you always dreamed of having 'bag' you. paper or plastic? whatever you want, doc! if you watched last season, you know what i'm talking about. then i would let him stick his tube into my most sensitive parts and probe as deeply and as thoroughly as he needs until he is completely satisfied. of course i'd let him suck anything he wanted out of me, too, the fat included.
the downside:
he's an emotional asshole (well, that's only if you consider that a downside) at least with dr. troy you know what to expect. nothing. absolutely nothing! and i'm okay with that.

dr. sean mcnamara, alter-ego dylan walsh

the upside:
he's the doctor that looks like the hunky-neighbor-next-door that invades your nightly fantasies and your daily ones, too. him, you can easily imagine waking up to on a sunday morning and making sweet love together, at least until brunch.
the downside:
i'd let him do everything i want dr. troy to do to me, but he's not as sexy/nasty so it might not actually be that great of an experience. plus, he is an emotional jellyfish! i hate wishy-washy. maybe, he's more swishy-swashy. hm?

julia mcnamara (now, ex-mcnamara), alter-ego joely richardson

the upside:
she has slept with both christian and sean. slutty bitch! oops! did i say that out loud? sorry! i'm not bitter about it, just a little sour. she even gave birth to christian's son and told sean the baby was his. hello! major drama points! then she had an affair with a little person. (hey, i'm p.c. and i don't say 'midget'; that would be offensive) god, i wish i could be her in real-life. oh, but, i digress...
the downside:
she finally came to the conclusion that her marriage to sean was a farce. maybe that should be considered an upside.

matt mcnamara-troy, alter-ego john hensley

the upside:
his parents are julia, sean AND christian! 'nuff said. he also became enamored with a transgender who kicks his ass and then saves his life. 'WHAT?', you ask. well, you'll just have to watch season 3 for it all to make sense.
downside:
despite the fact that his dads are plastic surgeons, he has looked like a michael jackson impersonator throughout most of seasons one and two. maybe, he had a side job that no one was allowed to talk about. hm, did you ever see john hensley and michael jackson at the same star-studded events at the same time? i didn't think so...

kimber henry, alter-ego kelly carlson

the upside:
she, like julia, is a slutty bitch! really! i'm not being mean; it's the truth. she slept with sean, almost married christian but instead went on to marry matt after she converted him to scientology. who makes this shit up!?! whoever they are, i bow down at their feet and lick their boots like a good boy does for his daddy!
downside:
i don't get to be her in real life. damnit!

dr. liz cruz, alter-ego roma maffia

the upside:
she is the smart-ass-potty-mouth-lesbian-with-a-heart-of-gold, anesthesiologist that assists the doctors during surgery while ambidextrously cutting them up with her wit. she even gets alanis morissette to be her girlfriend. bytheby, did you know alanis was a lesbian? i know, me neither! i'm pretty sure it's because she's canadian.
downside:she gets taken advantage of pretty easily by women. now, you all know why i am gay. women; they're nothing but trouble.

obviously, there are other characters as well, but these have been the mainstays of the series. they are the characters upon which the drama is built. duh! so what about the series itself? well, i could go on and on about some of the storylines, but really, that's what the boxed, dvd compilation sets are for. you should watch it just because the characters are so juicy! where else do you get to see people so ultra-beautifully-fabulous on the outside and so twisted and horribly car-crash-gruesome on the inside? 'nuff said!